Every person's life has moments of clarity—moments in which they see things from a new perspective. Sometimes, this clarity results from a near-death experience. Other times, it results from leftover Chinese food from the previous night. Whatever the truth, these moments can define a person's life and/or existence.
As an alcoholic, I have had the unique experience of having many moments of clarity; some of those moments include remembering to put my pants on before leaving the house. In all seriousness, they have to do with telling the truth to oneself, family, friends, and God. Suppose one can't be honest with those individuals. One can build up time in a recovery program and still never grasp the concept of being 'rigorously honest.' At the heart of it
is the love of self.
My moments of clarity have been life-changing. They have been a wake-up call for me to grow up and start living in the reality that I am not at the center of the world. When I would drink, all I could think of was the reasons I was pouring that poison down my gut.
Truth be told, those moments of clarity taught me that not only did I love myself, but at the same time, I hated who I was and what I had become.
In a recent recovery meeting, I shared, "The God of my understanding is a Group of Drunks." It is only through this Group of Drunks that I stay sober. Don't get me wrong; I do profess faith in God, but my Group of Drunks is God's tangible expression of grace in this messed-up world.
I can’t do twenty-four hours of sobriety on my own. I need God and my Group of Drunks to keep me sober and honest with myself and others. This is the most honest form of recovery.
Moments of clarity are God-given moments in which we must choose to direct our own story or let God direct and write a new story. What is essential is not what is in the past but this day before us. It is the opportunity to be present with our feet focused on a road paved with God's grace for the minute. Getting beyond that minute is more than I can handle. I am continually reminded that life and joy come in the morning. I don't have to worry about what the future holds because I know the one who holds the future in his hands and for my Group of Drunks.
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